February 11, 2013

I Owe You One... World

It's really hard when you do something unforgivably callous to somebody yet they still forgive you anyway. After that moment, the guilt will haunt you for the rest of your life. I mean, sure it'll be negated by time but the point is, it's there and it will never go away. It's like a crumpled paper that no matter how much flat pressure you put to it, it'll never go back to its original state.

Once you wrong somebody to an infinite level, but eventually just let you off easy, being around them will never be the same. It's like your behavior towards them or simply how you treat them will completely change into a safe mode kind of way. That's because you're scared you might do something wrong to them again.

Worse, even if they're the ones to do something bad to you, so long as it never goes to the extent of leveling to what you have done to them, you have no choice but to let it just slip. You give an entire world of not giving fucks to anything offensive that they may do to you. Because once that happens, you'd think they'd most probably slather all over your sorry ass what you did to them. The thing is, you will always feel mortified around them.

So, always be careful in things that you do. Never do anything that you will eventually regret for the rest of your sorry life.

February 1, 2013

Piam

I first met Pemari Kresta Kempis Mengote in college. During the freshmen orientation. I didn't mind her nor anyone in the class because I was busy being worried for myself and what the prestigious university was gonna do to me. Though I knew I was gonna be friends with pretty much everyone eventually, I never really thought I'd be closer to her.

I think the reason we got along and a few other members of our mini club was because we seemed normal. We were the conventional type in the class. We had our unique ways and characteristics but we were the type to say to others in our minds, "You're awkwardly weird but I'm not gonna tell you that so that you won't think I'm mean." And instead give away a reluctantly fake sneer of slight laughter.

I know there were a lot of times that we thought the same about things. If it's negative, I would always be the one to say it (See, I'm the obnoxious one, but people tend to think it's funny because they think I'm joking) but I know she has it in mind as well, she's just not mean enough to say it. Instead, she'd nudge me and I'll be like, "Whaat? It's true!"

I already forgot most of our adventures in the early years of our college education probably because we were still making an effort to be good students in the middle of our ordeal undertakings. In other words, we were boring. Most of the things that I can recall are from our senior year (mostly non-academic and fun experiences) because that's how my brain cells roll.


Pem, Jay-ar (I'm not sure if you've heard of him) and I consider ourselves to be siblings (in a parallel universe). Whenever we had the extra time, we'd always have a movie night at my place. We'd just spend the night away with a movie or two with snacks if we had money, and the rest bickering, eventually snoring. The three of us went out on movie dates and whatnooot, fighting over animé, food trip, books, and bar-hopping but just having senseless conversations in them. Looking back, we could be the three stooges, the three musketeers, or the three blind mice.

Pem and I were partners in our thesis during senior year. At one point, I was worried about it not getting done because I knew I was a slacker and Pem had those times too, only not as intense as mine. But then I thought, sure we don't do things like the nerds but we get work done if we had to. We let ourselves near the brink just for the thrill of it but we never let ourselves fall. That's what you do so in the future, you have something interesting to tell people.

Pem is the natural smart girl. She's not nerdy smart nor the effort smart. She just does a few flicks of her hair, strike what she knows and that's about how she carries herself. We basically are the same in terms of knowing about a lot of things not written in the book. We pretty much have the same wavelength in terms of digs. Another reason we can talk just about any random thing.

Pem is dainty. Her manners are orthodox. You can tell she was raised well. She's rational, honest, simple, thoughtful, witty. She loves what she loves and she doesn't let other people weigh her down on the grounds of her own beliefs. She doesn't think the efforts she gives to something would become futile.

Pem is sincere, friendly, pleasant, but sarcastic sometimes. She's not envious, prejudiced, nor judgmental. She's not overly intrusive nor meddlesome. She sees the good in people, later the bad but like I said, she doesn't judge. She's also creative, dynamic, and happy. If she is, she won't let you stop her relentless laughter resembling someone having an asthma attack and you'll be all like, astonished and have you confounded as to whether you should rush her to the mental hospital or just laugh with her. Also, she cavorts a lot when she's very excited and kinikilig.

We fought at times, but that's just part of friendship. I may have regretted some of them but I certainly learned from what it brought. We are balanced because we don't just share the good times. We also shared thesis. If you know what I mean.

She's a friend, a colleague, a fan, and a sister to me. I am thankful that I met her. I will always be. Happy birthday. :*


PS. Why did Pem cross the road?

- because on the other side her family is waiting
- because on the other side there is a concert of Coldplay, Dashboard Confessional, Owl City, Parokya ni Edgar, Joshua Radin
- because on the other side is a huge animé and manga store featuring One Piece
- because on the other side Jay-ar and I are watching How I Met Your Mother
- because on the other side AJ Rafael is giving away autographs and photo ops
- because the thief that stole her camera did
- because on the other side is a sale of paperback novels
- because on the other side is Jed Dycoco playing with his band?
- because on the other side is a huge comfy bed
- because on the other side are a bunch of ignorant people waiting for her sarcasm
- because on the other side is a movie marathon
- because on the other side is a food fare
- because on the other side her boyfriend is holding a bouquet and a box of chocolates